The road to now

Slowly people started to notice a change in me.  

As my confidence grew a smile would form on my lips and a hello to people would escape.

My drug would pump through my vein's and the high I had missed for so long took over my body.  My emotion's changed, the anger, grief and sadness that had been locked up for so long, slowly evaporated out of my self and there was a skip to my step.

Gulping back the spew that formed in the pit of my mouth I took the above.  It made me sick to see my breast sitting on my stomach and my arse sticking out half a mile int he back but I knew that months down the track it would help me to never come back to this.

A beautiful friend of mine had given me a bag full of clothes that I had gladly excepted last year. At the time I placed them in my wardrobe and cried my self stupid as my bingo winged arms wouldn't allow me to put on the cotton shirts, let alone have the jean's come up above my knee's. March 1st, I thought now or never.....and grabbed one.  The smile on my smug face says enough....and now that top is worn with pride.

These tracksuit pants are a men's size XXL....with the elastic removed!!  They dug into my belly and helped hide what lay beneath for far to long.  They now sit high on the self in my wardrobe.  I take them down every now and then.  I shake my head at the size of them...bloody hell how did I think they were comfortable..how did I allow myself to believe I was healthy wearing such disgustingly horrible pants!

I've said to my close friends that I cant see the difference when I look in the mirror.  For far to long I  was use to the fat lady, with the huge neck, the sunken, tiny eyes looking back at me.   My skin was dry, it was pimply, unhealthy...my hair was limp and lifeless.

Its only been recently that I have noticed how much my face and self have changed.

I feel pretty again...I feel alive for the first time in a long time.

The photo's above were taken 

October 2011 - Feb 2012 - April 2012

The ones below were taken

August 2011 last week - May 2012

I think Ive changed a bit 

This is my most favourite picture of them all.

Taken Beginning of May.

Its me wearing my size 24 city chic jeans and my darling 5 year old daughter in them with me.

She weighs what I have lost..21kg's to date.

I am now in a size 16 - 18 city chic jeans

Look at how unhappy I am in the left picture.

The fat round fat, the huge double chin, the big pregnant looking belly.  All I can think of is thank god I've got pj pants on cause it sure would ugly with out them.

These 2 pictures are 18 months apart.

Here I am, one week before round 2 of the Michelle Bridges body transformation.

Am I ready?

HELL YES

Am I going to smash it this round?

HELL FUCKING YES!!!

I think I'm more motivated then last round.  The nerves, the excuses are non existent..the excitement is at an all time high.  

Don't tell Michelle but I started today...I couldn't wait any more....the drug called life was calling out to me, whispering my name for me to come and join her

How could I refuse her hit.

xxx