Sunday, December 2, 2012

The joy's of a gunt

This here posting is for you Anne Maree Wilson and anyone else who has/had a gunt.
Its one of the reasons I began my 12wbt ... a gunt isn't all what it seems.


Gunt

This is a combo of gut and c***. The gunt is the huge layer of belly fat that hangs over the waist on morbidly obese women and covers the vagina. If for some reason, someone would actually want to have sex with this woman, the gunt must be lifted up out of the way to expose the genitals.

Nice description given there.
Sadly it's lacking in a few area's.

It fails to mention how the heat effects the area.  Summer time comes and hell it starts  cooking.  You can imagine what 2 layers of skin on skin that cant breath will do...rubbing is just the beginning of it.

First there's the itching..omg it itches like a bitch! no matter what you do you cant make it stop and once you start it only gets worse.  You begin to itch so much that you scratch open the skin and it bleeds and then stings.  Man Id rather have shavers rash from getting my bikini line done cause I know after day 2 its gone. This stays around for weeks if your not careful.
To combat the problem I started using pantie liners and folding them in half and wedging them in under my gunt to soak up the sweat. They worked for a while until my body said a big NOOOO to them.  Bamboo velour became my friend for a long time...I used my scrap pieces and would over lock them together into long thin strips to wedge under.  They worked a treat :)

Know what smell I hate the most...that lets put powder on the wet spot smell.  Yes I have been guilty of it. I had to, cause I didn't know what else to do.  It cakes together...gathers in all the little nooks and crannies like gangs of bullies waiting to pounce and degrade you.  Once the sweat start's you have that nasty sweet off smelling odour about you...you know the one. Like when you get on a crowded train on a hot day and you can smell the old lady from the other side of the carriage....yep, THAT'S the smell *shudders*.

Sweat is one of the gunts greatest enemies....nylon attracts it so lacey pretty knickers (if you can get them to fit a size 26) are out the door.  Sweat starts gathering and if you not careful  fungus grows and many woman suffering from eczema have it in this area majority of the time.  I know I did...my god it was horrible. This then starts the itch thing happening....see the cycle is just none stop.

You think muffin top looks horrid...try square gunt syndrome.  You find an awesome pair of pants or a gorgeous slightly tight dress and you get it on and look in the mirror and what do you see. Yep instead of a lovely flat or even round tummy you have this box like looking thing slapping your eyes.  You can hide it, it sits over your who ha and it looks square.  Worse still, is trying to stuff it into jeans.  OMFG its not a pretty sight when your in a change room trying to stuff your gunt and stomach into a pair of jeans to have the sales assistance open the curtain to look straight at your middle with her jaw gaping open.  You cant blame her...she's young, thin and doesn't look like she's ever had a day being over a size 14.  Humour steps in and says to said sales girl - see this is what quarter pounders and having 4 kids do to you while you push the curtain back and hide your tears of embarrassment.

The one I have noticed most recently it the clapping of the gunt.  OH how it loves to be noticed and cheer you on when your doing star jumps and skipping...clap...clap...clap.  When it first happened I was looking around the room at the other's in the class thinking who the hell is clapping us on.  It wasn't until I noticed everyone looking at me and feeling the weight hit above my fanny bone that I twigged.  Red face Ive made the - I cant skip excuse. Its bloody embarrassing.  Instead I now do a lift and AB&T  class to tighten up....I think its working :)




Next time you see an over weight person and giggle to yourself about how big their gunt is....think of all the crap they go through everyday and be thankful that you don't have one.


2 comments:

  1. Im going to give you a *clap clap clap* but from my hands love, not from my gunt!

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  2. The gunt has to be the worst thing ever about being overweight, and you have described it both hilariously and perfectly.

    You rock Maz!

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