Really really wanted to smash the run keeper bitch in the face this morning.
Taunting me continuously with...time is and distance covered is......shit, shit and hey.... just for something different SHIT!
Yesterday was my first adventure back to my morning route since my footpath rampage.
Knee bandaged up and doing fine. Time was alright but no running, no way!! Was not pushing it at all.
This morning, after the 1/2cm thick scab fell off last night, my knee was throbbing like no other.
Didn't strap it, just free balled and totally regretted it.
I was arguing with myself and had a bad case of the cant be fucks.
Stupid maz - didn't bandage your knee... TWIT. I'll just get to the corner up here and then turn around and go home....no you wont, you will keep going and then some.
Huge case of mental torture
In all seriously though I always thought I wasn't very fit, even with how far Ive come from the beginning of the year. It took me 1 hour and 40 Min's my very first time. It killed me and I was only walking and mind you it was slllooooowwwwww. My t-shirt at the time was drenched with sweat.
I often saw so many awesome chicks sharing what exercise commitments they have achieved and I was in awe. they started an urge in me to push myself that little bit
I started the gym and although I cant stand getting on a tready cause it bores me shitless
(lets face it there is only so long you can look at the same little dirty spot on the wall or window until your brain goes numb) so I dabbled my hand into some classes and learnt that I loved boxing and lifting weights.
Smash class...pfft I'm far to unco-ordinated for that shit. I look like I'm having a seizure of sorts and its just, well its just not pretty.
I discovered jogging. Building it up from one light post to the other to getting up to 3km's and even pushing myself that little bit further with this round and committing myself to do the 10k program.
Cue face plant
This morning I thought I would try to jog at my usually starting point and lasted....400m before my knee began protesting loudly. Usually its my bowels screaming - EMPTY ME NOW..yeah nah *shudders* I listened to my body and slowed back down to a walk, kicking myself inside that I couldn't do what my heart wanted.
Flash backs from January are hitting me. Then I began to think, you know its not so bad to go back to where we started. It gives me perspective, shows me how valuable my body is and how committed and focused I am on gaining fulfilment from what I was giving myself.
It has empowered me in so many fronts, given my strength when normal I would of ran for the corner in the room to cry. Shown me the true colours of many. Respecting myself in the positive choices I have and continue to make.
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on that run keeper chick after all.
I was up, I was doing my thing and by the time I got home, I was loving my self sick for it.
Each day brings new challenges...here's to them making me a better and stronger person.
Now...off to find that dame loo