Monday, May 21, 2012

Step one

Coming out Ive been told is one of the hardest thing's you'll ever have to do in your life. Its even harder when your thighs are rippling layers of fat and your tummy wobbles in sync to the base in the songs on the radio. Stepping out of that fat closest and craming yourself into a pair of lycra was not my idea of fun back in December I tell you. But this picture was the picture that broke this fat ladies back!
All I could see was the sadness in my face...the pain of what I had in my heart. My life is the one I choose. My families need's took more importance in my life then my own.

Having 2 special need's children, aswell as 2 other gorgeous children, a work at home business amoung other thing's...well you get the picture.

 I look at the picture above and wonder how my husband found me attractive. My tummy hung over my *cough* region, layers of fat folded ontop of each other and when I got off the cough a pillow was forever stuck to the coffee table arse I had created all by myself. My breast would sit on my tummy, nice and proud and in turn wouldnt allow my to see past my ample waist to view my toes. I wore size 24 - 26 clothes and found that most of them hung like empty circus tents flapping around my fat. They weren't flattering but the covered my shame.

So many time I would try a diet, try and improve my life but life would get in the wya and I put myself on the back burner yet again. I began to be scared off trying incase I failed yet again. The last time I lost 15kg's I had a cyst on my bowel removed and was in so much pain for 18 months after wards due to the procedure that I thought if I tried again it would all repeat itself over and over.

Christmas day I stepped onto my scales......131kg fuck me how the hell did I get to this!!!

On the 27th of December I clicked on and emailed my interested to the Michelle Bridges 12 week body transformation Program.

December 27th was the day I took my life back.

Once I sent that email in I set myself a small goal of no more soft drink, no more drinking anything but 2L of water and ONE cup of coffee a day. Like any drug I had my ups and downs with the withdrawals but I had to sweat it out and get over the edge. I still to this day am luck if I have consumed 2L of soft drink...something I though I could never live without.

For the first month I said nothing. Only a hand full of people knew what I was doing.....


  1. Way to go, you've done awesomely, you should be very very proud <3 and hugs

  2. Well done you have done an amazing job! You look stunning!

  3. Awesome work Maz - keep smashing it!!

  4. You go Go Girlyou have done an awesome job already with what weight you have lost.
    I am on the same Journey I could have wrote your post word for word I put my Health and happiness on the back burner for far too long about 8 yrs to be exact, I started a mth ago 5kg down and lots to go lol I am looking Forward to Following your Journey as it might help keep me motivated as well :)

  5. Wow Maz, you have written many words there that sounds like me speaking. It's not like we make a conscious choice and say ... Hey let's gain 20kg this year. It's like one day you notice it, and yes indeed it's a WTF moment for sure. And I do look at myself in the mirror and have those same thoughts as to how does my husband find me attractive. It's heart wrenching. So glad to be on this journey with you.