Much awaited girls weekend was had recently. A weekend to forget your worries, what your eating, what your doing, no children, no husband to banter......and your waistline to increase.
Here is a picture of me, on said weekend, with some of my gorgeous friends.
This is the first time ever in any of the 4 years of these times that i have actually felt comfortable and secure in myself to go out and have fun. I danced, sung and laughed so much that night. I felt like I was Queen of the world for a change. Not once did I worry about how fat my clothes made me feel, shit me, I even wore a skin tight top, jeans and THESE huge heels (ones on the left)
WHY did I let this happen again, why did I slip back into my food coma??
I had so many emotion's running through my mind and heart for day's prior, during and after. The old, standing in a crowded room and feeling lonely hit me a few times. I let the wine and vodka kick in and welcomed my old friend back with warm arms only to feel used and abandoned by it the next day.
Depression came and sat for me making an uncomfortable stance with my inner positive flow jo. I remember breaking down Sunday afternoon in my hotel room over how old maz had reacted to the situations presented to her over the few days prior and hated...absolutely HATED my response to it all.
The entire week since I have been on a massive low...dug myself into a makeshift hole with little breathing space and losing my heart in the process. My runner's have been screaming at me for a walking but my heart has been broken and left in shattered pieces.
Tomorrow morning, I intend to take those beloved runners out and find those pieces and try my hardest to superglue them together.
wish me luck