After my last posting's...I took a teaspoon...no wait a cup full of concrete,
got off my arse and got into it.
2 days in a row off over 1000 cal's, lots of thinking space and I feel so much better.
Never, ever did I EVER consider myself an emotional eater.
Funny how you analyse every action you do when your on a mission to get your life back.
Re-reading over my last post I noticed that yep, when I feel shit, I reach for something.
Years ago It would of been something hard (read between the lines as my mum might be reading this). The last few years its been food.
Light bulb moment...hello maz is home and knows now!!!
I had so many good moments on that weekend....ones that I forgot because the darkness crept in.
I got a few tat's to celebrate what I have achieved for ME in the last 6 months. I swore I would NEVER get one where I couldn't see it....and guess which DUMB BO got one one on the back of her neck...hello dickhead bahaahhah.
But its me....Instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve, I'm wearing it with pride on my neck.
My charka point for heart and well being :) seems fitting I think.
I spent quality time with those woman who I hold close. They have been an unbelievable support and shoulder for me over so many years. I feel like they're more family then friends. We have a closeness that others dream off. I am truly blessed to have been in such awesome and great company and to have soaked in their smiles, their love and happiness. A starving woman could live of that shit for years.
One of these said woman took a picture of me and OMG I am in shock!!!
Who the hell is this bitch in the size 18 clothes????
Id spank that arse even If I dare say so myself!!!
My Saturday morning SSS started CRAPPEDLY (is that even a word???) my HRM strap shit itself....and I had no idea to exactly how many cal's I burnt. Life goes on, it didn't stop me. I walked 7km's to the gym, did a 45 min work out and then walked another 3km' home.
SO attractive I know.... I look hot bahahhaa, actually I was, I was sweating up a storm but my beloved hippy band soaked it up nicely.
Most of all this last week has taught me not to stress over the small stuff. I have been so depressed, overwhelmed with my own personal issues and insecurities and what for???? I'm only feeding the darkness and sinking lower in the process. I'm reclaiming myself...getting my happiness back, giving back that friggen 2 plus kg's I put on last week by stuffing it up its butt and getting on with my goal off getting to 100kg's by week 8!!!
Watch this space peeps......I have so many things going on in my head atm I need 5 naughty corners to contain it.