Hiding in pictures

Now we all take the piss out of girls in photo's like this

But how many of us have and still do disguise what we truly look like with the angle of our camera.

What are we truely hiding???

I know Ive put the camera up high so that my pictures are taken from above my layers.

This on was taken end of 2009 - 120kg's...squishing shoulder together, tucking my chin in to hide my double chin, my bingo flaps and neck roll.  I remember taking at least 10 pic's to get this one.

Note - picture taken from the top to help disguise and feed the illusion of thinness

Another on...stretching my neck out like a friggen giraffe so that you couldn't see my double chin.

Mind you as soon as I took the picture it all went back like an accordion.

My face was fairly full then...pop my eyes and your drawn to them, not my chubby cheek's

Another from the top picture. I cropped the side so you wouldn't see my arms. Tucking my chin and hiding behind my hair was the strategy this time..I thought it worked but I can see plan as day how stupid I looked.  I may as well put botox in my chin its the bloody huge.

Another top view...I seemed to have taken LOT'S of top views.

What was I thinking? 

 I tell you what..if I take the picture this way people aren't going to see how big I really am.  

They wont see the double quarter ponders I ate on the way home shopping, the big bad of chips I ate watching Neighbours, the large family supreme pizza I ate by myself.  

They see in control Maz...Maz who never complains and is always the joker.

Maz who isnt crying inside - waiting for someone to say, hey are you alright.

Maz who is always everyone elses shoulder because helping others with their problems is so much easier then dealing with her own shit.

Maz who cries herself to sleep some nights in worry.

How many of us mask ourselves, our lives because we cant handle the thought of disappointing others,

In turn then disappointing ourselves?

How many of us shut our mouths to keep the peace?  

Never saying what we really think until its to late and the shit has not just hit the fan but totally fucked it?

And for what?  To torture ourselves out mentally and physically?  

pfffttt not any more!!!!

 One person can give you strength, confidence and the light in your day.

One person can share your burden's, your bazinga moments and your life.

Every relationship has up and downs, best friends share them, work through them because

that's what best friends do.

I never knew that day at school when we were 14 that I had meet my soul sister.

We live hundreds of km's apart but I could never imagine my life without her in it.

She has always loved me for me.

Loved me and my stupid ways of madness

My ranting, put me back into line, yelled at me when I was stupid, hugged me when I was sad,

cried with me in my dark moments and laughed when we were drunk.....shit I even let her eat my kebab one drunken night.

These are the one photo's I never judge myself in.  I only see the beauty in them.

Thank you Sammie for being beautiful and bringing the best of me out

I now have the confidence to have my pictures taken front on.

No more hiding behind my huge head or hair.

I don't have to hide the bad food I eat, the lack of exercise or self love anymore.

I have gained so much from being on the 12wbt mind wise it just hurts some days.

Here I was thinking feeding my face and bullshitting to myself was the making of me all.

Man was I dick!

I refuse to take pictures the way I use to. 

I don't have to hide anymore.

Life is beautiful, its full of colour and happiness

Be brave and be true to yourself.