I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to proper, to rise
There are moments in life that seem so full on and extreme.
The stress of it all plays with our minds and collapses any formed intelligence we may have built up.
Ive had an awakening over the last few weeks.
I don't know the exact moment it happened but I feel almost....free.
Joining Michelle Bridges 12wbt back in December 2011 I was numb with fear.
I totally shit myself for what I had signed up for. Fear of the unknown and excitement of the new found feet I was going to be wearing.
I never anticipated how much my life, my being was going to change due to it.
I have been on a roller coaster of emotion's. Getting to the root of so many moments that scared me without even taking notice. Killing those festering doubts, feeding the new formed seedlings of the life that was ready to explode out. The impact of the last year has feed the core of my mind and soul...
once I let myself let go.
Words of wisdom that never soaked into my droughted exterior now run through my veins.
Not worrying about the WHY but just to KNOW and Learn from it has finally feed my brain.
Its amazing to feel....liberating, comforting...happy
I no longer seek gratification in my weight. Not letting a number dictate to me how I should be feeling.
I have decided that for the remaining weeks of this round of the program I wont weigh in.
I don't feel I need to.
Eating nutritious food, knowing my limits and control are a part of my life now.
Who's to say I wont fail? is it really failing? I'm putting in place what I have learnt and been taught over the past 16 months...its natural now...its my lifestyle.
We are humans strive so hard to be perfect...do we learn from being perfect or are we to busy competing with it to really learn from it?
Letting go is the hardest thing to do.
Loosening that grip hold on our selves, one finger at a time to find yourself free falling and stupidly happy is the ultimate feeling.
I am not worried that I am not the fastest runner, that my strength isn't equal to a super hero's or that I'm not a size 10 on the dress scale.
I love that I try, that I have the strength in me to get up and say yes let me give it a go.
I love that I feel alive and empowered with everything physical and positive that I do in my life.
Who would of thought at aged 38 that I would feel this good?
I'm still learning new things about myself, releasing the pressure's around me, speaking out now.
There maybe a few little boxes of crap that clutter right in the dark corners of my mind but the wall's that held them in have crumbled and given me such a vibrant, refreshing view now.
Believing in myself has been the ultimate experience.
There will be no more looking back.
Thank you to that special person
who's words of wisdom gave me life