Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Big comfy couch

Over the last few week's Ive felt in control, happy and confident as to what I have achieved for myself since Christmas 2011.  Life is completely different to what is was back then.  Habit's have changed...friends have come and gone, life has blossomed for me.

Having reached 100kg's and staying there for the first time in years I think I sort of got a bit too comfortable.  As if my mission to get to 100kg's was it...but now what? Do I keep sitting in the big comfy couch, relishing the 100kg's - 30kg's lost or do I get back up, donate that couch to the op shop and look for a stunning emperor's chair to take its place?

Admittedly I could do more.  I noticed that due to my work commitments that my gym classes have now gone, although I am walking more km's its still.....not the same.  I upped the anty this week by placing myself on a squatting challenge...my god the DOM's that have prevailed form it are kicking my couch arse right now.  Have a feeling I'm going to go back over what the MB12wbt program has set out for me and really dig in deep.

As much as I like my new found inner peace, its arcing me like door knocking religious preachers.  You know the ones who wont listen to you even when you tell them politely that you have your own religion after thanking them for their time.  I don't want to be polite and keep face because of my new found self love.  I don't want to lose the fighting factor or striving to better myself.  I still have a long way to go no matter how many people tell me I am looking good.  Losing that lust for adventure and the inner competitive demon is just something that will break me if I keep going.

Being comfortable has let me allow old habits to come back in and sit on the couch with me. Ahh its alright a few steamed dim sims will be ok...hand full of chips...sugar back in my cuppa tea. Although I haven't had another coffee since day 39 of not having them.  Coffee is something that just isn't a high for me anymore.  The lust has gone and the light has dimmed for it.

Yesterday I was that tired that I slept...until 8.30am.  Now for many that's nothing but that's a huge sleep in for me.  I'm a 5am girl and its kills me all day if I sleep that long.  I had a headache, was grumpy, wanted to scream for fuck knows why...I really wanted to throw shit, hit something, all day.
This morning I was awake from 4.30am waiting to 5.20am to get my butt out and into the cold of April to slap me alive again.  The cold on my face opens my eyes and makes revitalizes me.  When your tired, you need to rest and listening to your body is the biggest thing I have learnt BUT you have to learn the difference between what your body says and what that nasty mind of ours tries to twist around to us.
Our bodies are bloody machines, they are capable of being pushed, its our minds that give up way before anything.  They tell us to eat that extra serving of food, to drink that bubbly soft drink its alright.
I have to learn to be strong all over again and find another angle to get around and take over my brain again, before I get far to comfortable and my arse gets stuck in that couch..again.

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