Now it didn't take overnight for most of us to put our weight on.
You don't wake up one day and all off a sudden your 40kg's heavier. Its comes and finds you in the darkest moments and sits with you...and the next time you feel down it brings its friends and well......before you know it the size 16 pants you use to wear cant come up past your knees.
This weight loose thing is virtually the same but in reverse. Instead off letting those kg's come and sit with you, your sending them away, back to the place they came from. Even if its 100grams a week its still being sent back, being taken away from feeding you.
Today after getting out an old top I just realised how far I have come. Its one of my light bulb moments. Ones that we all need to push us forward more.
I use to wear this top and be continuously worried about how my tube tummy would stick out (this is the belly above my other belly) it use to fight with me to hide it and I did it unsuccessfully.
I wore it to death...why??? because I thought it looked half decent even though I said the above. I could try to hide in it, hide my arse that was big, hide the tube tummy and the fact that my gunt sat over my girly bits.
This is a picture of me in the said red top.
June 2009 - almost 4 years ago
I was so self conscious all weekend, especially this night.
I had never meet any of these woman before this weekend.
Each beautiful inside and out. I felt like the size of a truck next to them.
I hide in my red top. Even in this picture I can see the tube tummy sticking out, even though I stretch the top forward to hide in it...its still there, waving hello I'm the fat friend.
Last year, in what has become a self medicating process
I got my red top out and took some selfies.
I remember putting this up on my facebook page and having people comment how good it looked, how much weight I had lost now from back on that weekend.
It was the high I needed to get me going again.
No tube tummy in sight. My top sat perfectly like it was meant to.
I was loving it.
Coming in the door after a day off shopping with the family I reached for my red top to change into.
I don't know what made me do it...I just wanted to take my leggin's of and be comfortable.
Today, I am wearing the said red top as a dress.
A very loose dress
Its helped me decide about my future goals and ambitions even more.
Ive been stuck in limbo about doing round 2 of Michelle Bridges.
I really really wanted to try and go a round without, to try and practise the lessons and tools I have been taught and shown whilst on the program.
Like a baby bird I'm scared shitless about flying the nest, just proving to myself that I'm not ready.
After taking the above picture and writing this blog post Ive come to the realisation that Ive only just scratched the surface of the program. I have so much more to learn and take in.
Yes Ive done 5 rounds, Yes I have learnt to be a better version of myself
I am just learning to run again. I want to learn to convert my self clapping baggage into muscle.
To expand my horizon's and learn more about me in the process.
Michelle Bridges and support crew, those on the forum, on the program themselves
Your all stuck with me for a long time yet