Reflection's of Sydney - Part 1

As I sit here, with swollen, blistered feet and sun burnt shoulders my mind is buzzing with the enormity of the weekend Ive just had.

Within 48 hours

• I flew to Sydney and back home to Melbourne
• burnt 1700 calories walking to the bridge climb, including the bridge climb and walking back to the hotel room Friday night
• drank 8 bottles of water in 12 hours
• burnt another 1600 calories walk to the Michelle Bridges work out and doing the work out.
• hung out with some TOTALLY amazing people
• wore a tutu down Oxford street Sydney with my amazing muscle legs
• learnt many wonderful life lessons
• conquer a shit load of fears
• danced the night away and got carpet burn on my feet in the process (DON'T ASK)

and most of all...realised although I am a new person I will never forget where I came from.  

Its so easy to be wrapped up in our new life style, leaving the old baggage behind.  The excitement of new friendships, attention, being the NEW version of yourself is exciting, exhilarating...but in the process I don't want to forget who I was before hand...the person who started with low self esteem, with no confidence.

I wont forget how I use to look down and not look people in the eye due to being ashamed of who I though I represented on the outside.  Feeling uncomfortable in a dress that was to tight and me shitting myself that my muffin top that was spilling out of my size 26 granny knickers would be noticeable under my top.  How I felt like an outsider with my friends who had great confidence with who they were.....

Being part of a 'team' makes my heart pound deep with pride.

Coming to Sydney wasn't about me...it was about representing the 30plus team.  Each and everyone of us who had worked our arses off to be healthier, stronger, happier versions of ourselves.  To support each other as much as we do on line.

One of the 'team' stood on the sidelines, with her legs in a brace due to an injury yet here she was, dressed in her Saturday princessness, still doing the best she could to keep up with the workout.  THAT my friends is a woman of passion!  A woman who wont let anything get in her way!  With joy, I made my way over to her, to work out next to her...because SHE is an extraordinary example of proving there are no excuses.....you can always find away.

I learnt alot of truth's that slapped me in the face in this time.  Truths I thought didn't exist in our 30plus group and honestly, it fucken saddened me.  To many moat's and little communal islands are made with no way's to cross.  It felt like I was 16 years old again and trying to decided which 'group' I fitted into.
You know the cool kids, with the cool sneakers on and the awesome boyfriends group.  The kids who want to be in that group so bad they'd bust their poo poo valve in the process for a simple HELLO from the cool kids. Then the kids who are normal, yeah I don't care but get hurt at the attention other group's get because there is no team spirit.
Ive never really been part of any group...Ive always sort of gotten along with everyone.  Ive always spoken what I've thought and yep lost friends due to it but *shrugs* Its me and I'm not about to piss in your pocket while kissing your arse.
Popularity is something that has never really appealed to me.  I would rather have a hand full of friends who understand me then put a mask on have the world think I'm someone I'm not.  I may as well keep my fat suit and keep pretending I'm fucking happy if that's the case.
I just wish the divide in our little community wasn't so vast and that we could all remember that while we are all different we should love, respect and honour all personalities, thoughts and passion's without judgement or exclusion.

Cause come on, this weight lose shit is hard work, even harder in the dark on you own.