Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Hiding in the dark

I cant believe I haven't been 'here' since June! over 4 months...what the hell??!!!

Ive almost completed another round and I haven't blogged once.    

Allow me to explain......

After totally screwing with my own head mid round 2 I lost the plot.  I became obsessed with numbers, working out as much as I could and burning a bucket load of cal's in the process.  While I thought I was feeling great I was suffocatings myself with darkness.  My weight wasn't moving and numbers became my focus.  It was angering me that nothing I did was reflecting on the scales.

I had to step back and remember why I started this in the first place.

It wasn't for weight, it wasn't for numbers or trying to out do myself so I would fall into a pile of shit.

I did this to be healthy.
I did it to find 'me' again.

My body didn't care about what numbers the scales popped out, how many cal's I was counting, how many km's I could curn out.  It was happy and delighted that I was taking control over the years of bad habits, giving it back nourishment and life.  

This round has been my light bulb moment.  I have learnt to listen to my body, not my mind and have finally found a peace.  

No more hiding in the dark :)  this is me.... free of the baggage

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