Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The shift

So Maz, - tell me... what has shifted? What do you have? What is making it work this time round for you?

that was a question put to me today by a lovely lady after I said I think I finally have 'it' and its taken me until round 4 for it to 'click'

What has shifted?  
my arse for starters.  I remember when I began Michelle's program I walked and walked.  I often walked 12km's in one morning session.  I loved it but though, shit anyone can walk I want more.  One morning, I think it was half way through round 2 I said fuck this and did a shuffle that was to be my first steps into what I referred to at the time as jogging. My god it bloody killed me.  I started by shuffling from one light post to the other, then walking 2 light posts length and then running the next.  I only lasted 3 light posts and my god, it bloody well killed me (well ok maybe not but it felt like it).  I remember hunching over, spewing and thinking FUCK what the hell!  What the hell happened to me to spew after such a little bit of shuffling.  I did this over and over for a few days until i didn't need to spew again....then I cut back walking to 1 light post between shuffles.  
Come back to the now and here I am, a chic who can jog (I wont call it running yet) 3km's in one go, WITHOUT SPEWING!!!!  I just get very red and wet now from sweating up a storm...and my lungs feel so good and clear when I breath.  

What do you have?
2 feet and a heart beat. *giggle* seriously..I am so thankful for my feet and feeling so good.  I look back over the last few years and my health was really poor.  2010 saw me having major surgery for a cyst on my bowel which I had operated twice and although its not the same as it was before I am thankful that it works and I have been given a second chance so to speak.  Diabetes's was thrown into the mix after getting the all clear on cancer and that made me shit bricks.  Both my parents, sister and brother have it and there was no way on this earth I wanted to head down the same path.
I have a VERY supportive husband.  That is one thing i defently do have.  He has  not once detered me and encourages me to give things my all.  Of course he benefits from this all in the way of eating healthy and having a much happier wife.  I couldn't off gotten to where I am now if it wasn't for him and his kick arse love.
My children give me so much.  They are my unspoken support team.  My eldest is eating what he eats now and is more conscious of what is good food and bad food.  He is starting to make healthy choices for himself and is now getting more active along with me.  My second eldest is a completely different child since we began our new lifestyle.  He now eats foods he never would touch and tells me everyday how beautiful his happy mum is.  This means the world to me as autism ruled his life for so long and now HE rules his life with a passion that puts an extra heartbeat into my heart.  My daughter loves cooking with me and is aware of what are good foods and bad foods.  She has told me diets are for people who don't live healthy and that that wont ever happen to her cause we live 'properly'....the wisdom of a 6 year old amazes me.  My youngest son has now began talking and communicating with us all.  His bouts of anger are less and he is so much happier and loving then he was 1 year ago.  He to has spectrum traites and has cerebral palsy.

What is making it work this time round for you?
I really don't know.  I over came so much in Sydney...something in me just snapped.  I remember standing in front of the stage looking up at the people who had become finalist and thinking, shit me, these girls are in my 30 plus group...look at them.  Look how healthy, happy and enthused they look.  I WANT THAT!  I want to have the smile that bedazzles.  Feel so good about myself that I could stand in front of everyone and think BOO FUCKING YEAH.  I want what they feel inside. The energy, the confidence and happiness.  I so wished that I could pinch a little of what they were giving out, their positive vibes.  I put it out to the universe...I'm going to give as much as I can, I'm going to treat my body as a temple, treat it right and I pray like a madman that I have the glow and energy that those girls have.
I spoke to so many wonderful people that night, pinching a little of the energy from each of them as they all offered something different and enlightening.  These people are utterly amazing.  I am in total awe of all the men and woman I spoke to that night...from my personal inspiration and her gorgeous husband who I probably embarrassed with my drunken praising to the wonderful mentors who spoke with me in line waiting to get into the party.  

People have no idea what kind of effect they have on others.  The littlest smile, the hello, a hug all build such an amazing mountain of happiness and positive energy.  Thank you to everyone that helped contribute to my shift...I owe you big time.


  1. Fucking awesome post Mazzy!!!

    You have come so far and overcome so much. And my god I can't run for five metres let alone 3kms!!!

    I'm so proud of you Mazzy xxx